“Living to please is

like living a half-life.”

― Ramani Durvasula

Relational Trauma + Codependency

Relational trauma, also referred to as interpersonal trauma, is experienced within significant relationships and often involves betrayal, narcissistic abuse, or neglect by a trusted individual. This type of trauma can occur in various relationships, such as those with parents, caregivers, partners, or close friends. The impact of relational trauma is profound as it disrupts the fundamental sense of safety and trust necessary for healthy relational and emotional development.

Codependency often involves an unhealthy reliance on another person for emotional, psychological, and even physical support, typically stemming from patterns formed in childhood, particularly in families affected by addiction, abuse, or neglect.

Key Characteristics of Codependency:

  • Excessive Caretaking: Individuals struggling with codependency often take on the role of caregiver, feeling responsible for the well-being of others, sometimes to the detriment of their own needs and desires. This can lead to burnout and resentment, as they continuously put others first, often neglecting their own well-being.

  • People-Pleasing: A strong need for approval and validation from others is common among those dealing with codependency. They may go to great lengths to avoid conflict and keep the peace, often at the cost of their own happiness and well-being.

  • Low Self-Esteem: Those with codependency typically struggle with low self-esteem and may feel unworthy of love and respect. This can lead to a constant search for affirmation from others and a deep fear of rejection or abandonment.

  • Difficulty Setting Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries can be challenging for individuals with codependency. They often have trouble saying no and may feel guilty or anxious when they do try to assert their needs.

  • Control Issues: Individuals dealing with codependency may experience a strong desire to control others and situations in order to feel secure. This control can manifest in both overt and subtle ways, as a means of coping with their own anxiety and fears.

Codependency and relational trauma are closely related as they often develop from similar experiences and reinforce each other in a cycle of unhealthy relationship dynamics.

  • I only provide individual therapy because it allows me to create personalized treatment plans that are tailored to each client's unique challenges and goals.

    Treating trauma and PTSD often calls for a focused, individualized approach, and I'm here to provide just that!

  • Relational trauma can lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), particularly when the trauma is severe and prolonged. Symptoms of PTSD related to relational trauma include flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, and avoidance of reminders of the traumatic relationship.

  • Therapeutic approaches like Attachment-Focused EMDR and other attachment-based therapies can be especially helpful. It's also important to focus on rebuilding self-esteem and trust.

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